How can i remain on higher ground, when they continue to create drama for my family. The ability to remain silent has drawn to close.
I know retaliating without thought would be giving them what they want and expect. So i know that i wont be doing that, but what course of action do i undertake?
My life is in ruins again and i don’t know how to pick myself up and continue on without addressing everything that has unfolded, but to do that means re-living the emotions most are so distressing and sad.
Get angry only wears me out, crying wears me out.
All i have ever done is help these people and my thanks is to purposely hurt me.
the eviction notice was for today the 1/07/16. how at 33 am I here? How did this happen seriously , after everything I’ve strived to achieve in my life to end up here failing like I never cared about my life ruins me more than anything. I’m not one of them
Be careful with your words. Once they are said,
they can only be forgiven, NOT forgotten.
I’m now 22 and I don’t feel so young anymore. I know there’s nothing fair about death.
It makes you feel weak, exhausted and like you wish you’d died too.
To escape the pain at this point, I didn’t realise you could possibly hate someone so much. I felt the most deep penetrating hate I’ve ever known in my life.
But my feelings are mine and its crap if anyone tells you different.The anger was so raw, ugly, destructive feeling that could rise in me and control me for days on end
If I don’t get this out, I may remain in a state of despair, stress and anger.
My anxiety level are through the roof
The existence I’ve lived has been different to what society perceives as normal.
So I’m on the very edge of remaining in control of my emotions and sanity. Some would say I lost my sanity years ago and it’s something I now after so many years of laughing at it like a joke completely agree. I did lose my sanity but
I did lose my sanity but I lost a lot more than that, and if its taken so many years for me to move on from the utter devastation and anger that I breathed every day than so be it.
Nobody knows the “real” me anymore, it doesn’t bother me all that much anymore. But at times it gets to me that no-one really comprehends the enormity of what’s transpired or what I’ve endured on a daily basis as a result of the last 3 years alone.
Anyone you remember me talking to no longer does,
Mostly my choice, some like Mel were not but eventually I ensured no reconciliation to be likely in this life time.